A blog article written for the Alberta Camping Association summarizing a session from their annual conference’s Keynote Speaker, Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids.
The school bell rings signalling classes to dismiss at Oak Street Elementary School. The children scurry out into the hallway to put on their coats and shoes and prepare for parent pick up. A few of the lucky ones walk out the front doors and catch the yellow school bus home. The majority are ushered into the gymnasium where they will wait for their parents in safety.
The parents arrive in a long line of minivans and SUVs. They stay parked outside of the school, awaiting pick up procedures to be carried out. An anxious looking teacher from Oak Street Elementary dashes over to the first vehicle in line. It’s Steven Jackson’s mother.
“Steven Jackson from 4A,” the teacher relays over a two way radio. She looks up and down the sidewalk. “We’re ready for him.”
Meanwhile in the gym the teacher on the other end of the walkie talkie is preparing Steven Jackson for departure. He directs him to the front doors, escorts him outside and to his mother’s parked vehicle. The teacher opens the door, waits for Steven Jackson to sit in the car before shutting the door behind him. Then with a sigh of relief rushes back into the school to prepare the next student for pick up.
You might think this scenario was taken from a fiction about post-apocalyptic times. There might be gangs of kid snatchers lurking, armed snipers in the trees, ferocious lions and tigers behind playground equipment and/or violent aliens hovering the skies waiting to harm or abduct the children.
Oak Street Elementary is not located in a dangerous neighbourhood. In fact, the community around Oak Street has a low crime rate and is home to hundreds of medium to high income families. It is a safe neighbourhood. This scenario is an example of what is actually happening in the United States. If Steven Jackson is safe then why did he need secret service style security to get into his mother’s car? Why couldn’t Steven Jackson just walk home from school, or even to his mom’s car alone?
Why Parents are Afraid to have Free Range Kids
North American society has come to the point where parents don’t trust the world at all. Because of a number of factors, parents have been trained to always think of the worst case scenario and truly believe that it will happen to their child if they let their guard down for a second.
Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids and host of Slice TV’s Bubble Wrapped Kids, was the keynote speaker at the Alberta Camping Association’s Annual Conference.
“What interests me is how we got to the point in society where it is normal for parents to be on top of their kids 24/7,” Skenazy was quoted in the Toronto Sun. “This is the first time in human history that has been considered admirable.”
In her workshop and keynote address “Raising Kids to be Leaders in an Uber-Safe Society” we learned about the factors in our culture that are causing fear and creating helicopter parents.
THE MEDIA
Thanks to the internet we receive news updates by the minute. Local, national, and international news broadcasts literally air on radio and television 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We know about every bad thing that has ever happened or will ever happen in the whole wide world, every minute of every day.
“Sometimes the news will run out of stories so they will re-tell an older story, reviving the fear of a crime that was committed a long time ago,” said Skenazy. “The media is telling parents they should be afraid.”
LOOKING THROUGH THE LENS OF RISK
Products, programs, parks and playgrounds are always studied for the chance of risk. Playgrounds are stripped of teeter totters and merry-go-rounds (which we all have fond childhood memories of) because they could create risk for our fragile children.
Tables, taps and doors are covered in killer germs. Grass is too soft, cement is too hard, and floors are too slippery. Our children are at risk everywhere they go at all times…right?
EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT (EXCEPT FOR YOU)
Even the simplest projects are declared complicated and the media has told us that we can’t do anything right. Lenore Skenazy had us read an article in a recent parenting magazine that literally gave readers step-by-step instructions for properly hugging their child. The article had quotes from two child psychiatrists, because obviously today’s parent needs that kind of professional help for even the simplest tasks.
BABY SAFETY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
We are hearing messages that tell us our children are in constant danger … unless we buy the miracle product that will protect them from harm and potentially save their lives! There are baby knee pads so your little crawlers won’t hurt their knees on the hard floor. There are bath water temperature readers in case you forgot to actually feel the water with your hand before putting your baby into a scalding bath. There are baby harnesses with a marionette string so you can hold your baby up with a rope to help them learn to walk.
Raising Safe, Self Reliant Kids (Without Going Nuts with Worry)
Is it possible that our children are capable of learning how to make their own good decisions, use good judgement in the face of difficulties and become independent community minded healthy adults?
In North America children are placed into organized programs instead of being allowed to explore through unsupervised play.
The streets we played road hockey on are bare and the parks we played frozen tag in are empty. In organized sports even the team that comes in dead last gets a trophy. Heaven forbid MY child should feel bad about not being the best soccer player in the league.
“By doing all of these things to be perfect and to protect our children we are actually telling them that we don’t believe in them,” said Skenazy. “We’ve taken failure out of their lives and under estimated their ability to pick themselves up and try again.”
By keeping your child indoors, not allowing them to explore beyond your reach, and rewarding them when they lose we are telling them that we don’t actually believe in them and we don’t think they can handle it.
“We are sucking the good out of childhood,” said Skenazy.
Skenazy used the examples of gazelles in the wilderness to illustrate the value of unsupervised play. Young gazelles have been known to actually play with each other. They have been observed playing a sort of ‘tag’ game in the wild. These young gazelles are learning coordination, they’re getting exercise, they’re developing social skills within the herd and they are learning how to be alert to predators all without the hovering aid of mother gazelle.
Predators can see them playing. Perhaps they would be more safe if they stayed next to mother gazelle or if they lived out their adolescence hiding behind a clump of trees. It’s apparent that nature has deemed play more important than that. These gazelles have showed us that the skills and development that occurs during play outweighs the risk of leaving mother’s side.
The Importance of Summer Camp
Camp solves these problems. Children are able to escape the clutches of their over protective parents and explore a world of adventure all on their own! They are given the chance to make new friends, engage in new activities, play their hardest and even learn lessons from failure.
At camp kids discover they are capable of learning and trying new things, that it is okay to fail because they can always try again, and that germy hands and scraped knees are all a part of a happy childhood. Camp encourages independence in children, teaches them to take initiative and motivates them to become better at the things they love doing. Camp does all of this in a safe and nurturing environment.
“As parents it is our obligation to give them childhood.” Skenazy concluded her address, “Send them to camp.”
About Lenore Skenazy
Lenore Skenazy is a New York City columnist who let her 9 year old son ride the subway alone, and wrote about it. Well, the media jumped all over it! Her feisty belief that our kids are safer and smarter than our culture gives them credit for has landed her on talk shows from Dr. Phil to The View, The Today Show, NPR, Good Morning America, Nightline, ABC World News Tonight, CBS Early Show, CNN, FoxNews, Anderson Cooper, the BBC, CTV and CBC. She wrote a book called Free Range Kids and is the host of a reality TV show “Bubble Wrapped Kids”.
Lenore helps free parents from their over-protective paranoia by showing them our kids are smarter than society gives them credit for. She inspires parents to think about how they can encourage their children to make their own good decisions, use good judgement in the face of difficulties and become community minded, healthy adults.